He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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