Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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