shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
