U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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