i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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