It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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