Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
