No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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