I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
