Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize