remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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