don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
