I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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