Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
