I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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