I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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