Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
