Quick, to the slutcave!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
