Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
