My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
