Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
