it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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