i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
