Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
