You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
