why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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