Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
