Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I deserve this hangover.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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