The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
