Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
