apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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