4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
