I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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