Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
