We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize