you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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