This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
