Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
