i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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