How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
