Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
