Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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