i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
