the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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