that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
