woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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