I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
