So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
