You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
