hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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