How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
