His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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