This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
