No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize