he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
