Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
