as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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