Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fuck appropriateness.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
