i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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