I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
