3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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