and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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